Moose With Mushrooms

I wonder when McCain will realize that his base is no longer on board for him, but for Sa-rah!

They love her. She's Bush all over again: ignorant, arrogant, parochial, born-again. But while she's ideologically firmly in Bush's camp, she surmounts him in one crucial way: she's frighteningly competent at getting what she wants. She won't wheedle over things like public approval, and she doesn't need, and won't tolerate, a Karl Rove leading her by the arm. Sorry about that, Karl -- but suck up good, and I'm sure she'll make you Attorney General (and fire your ass too, the first time you show signs of being "not supportive").

It does seem that the POW is waking up to the emerging reality. He changed his and Palin's appearances to joint ones, when he noticed that only the Secret Service were showing up to hear solo recitations of his experiences in Vietnam. If he wants to be seen around a bunch of cheering people -- and he most definitely does -- he's got to be where Sarah is.

But I wonder at what point he will start to suspect, that the motive and secret desire of a good portion of the cheering crowd is not for the nascent President McCain, but for the coming of President Palin.

Palin is a dream come true, for a certain heavy-drinking portion of the Republican Base.

She's ready to take on Russia (but hasn't said yet, when the draft will start), she thinks drilling and burning more oil is a great idea, "especially for Alaskans, " and she believes in the two main tenets of Republican governance -- grab what you can, and change the past to suit your new story.

And she's hot. For a mom. She's an oedipal dream come true, as the second link above illustrates. Mothers love her, and sons lust her.

She's Maw-nin' in America, the Second Coming of Saint Reagan.

She's the last sexy Terminator, sent from an apocalyptic, dystopic future world, to finish the job the first two couldn't: to slay the young upstart, before he destroys the destroyers.

It's mythic. It's poetical. It's twisted.

Scariest of all, it makes perfect evangelical-sense.

It's all Gad's plan, do you see? McCain is the One Sent Before, the Prophet John, the Baptizer, the Authenticator. He leads the Son (or Daughter) of Gad to his(/her) rightful place. He will carry the message and mission of his Corporatist masters as far as his old POW legs can carry him, and then he will hand their torch to the Evangelical's Chosen One -- who will turn a fire-extinguisher on the dangerous thing, and give it to Piper to torture the staff with.

And that may happen sooner than we think. POW's have a pattern of early deaths . By that consideration, McCain may be past his actuarial window already.

That's why the low-grade depression that had settled over McCain's campaign is now lifted. No longer does it matter, that the first good crisis will probably trigger a temper-stroke in the Oval Bedroom at 3 AM. All the better, in fact. Then Sa-rah Pa-lin can bring her own immense experience in foreign policy to bear -- hopefully wearing a tight, red-buttoned suit.

So what if the old guy kicks? Just pray to Gad he lives long enough to take the oath. After that, the sun rises over Alaska.

Or -- is that a mushroom cloud?